top of page

The Chest Less Man

The Purpose Drive Husband

The Chest less Man Part I


Emotional Intelligence refers to your ability to recognize and manage your own emotions, recognize, and respond to the emotions of others and build effective relationships at work. Developing self-awareness promotes increased productivity and higher job satisfaction. These changes can also lead to improved communication, increased empathy, and better interpersonal rapport and relationships.

The Greatest Gift

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body [a]to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [c]thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is mature has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now, we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

We understand these words, but I wonder how much do we really understand the words regarding how we display love, do we just merely understand the emotional aspect of love? i.e., feeling You see, I have evolved to understand love as a verb. Something we display in action not a feeling.

As a society we have been nurtured to believe a lot of things that aren’t apparently true in nature. Just look at the life of Christ. The greatest king became a servant. How did we lose this valuable lesson? All we must do is look back at some of the great men to recognize that being a leader, father and man meant the opposite of what we currently display in our society and in our Churches. You see the kingdom of God is upside down

The lost Art of being a Man

How has being a man changed? That's a tough question. On the one hand, the definition of masculinity has expanded to include traditionally feminine virtues such as being nurturing and a hands-on parent. But until recently, the meaning of manhood had yet to come under scrutiny. And rightfully so! Consider the following facts that men are in the news for all the wrong reasons: mental illness, campus sexual assault, terrorism, mass shootings, and violence against woman. If we can begin to discern what discern this type of behavior (SIN) and the lack of identifying oneself as God created, you. Many my elaborate that masculinity has evolved over the past 4 decades and it has to our demise. how young men are redefining their gender, and what this might look like in the future.

First things first, is it harder to be a man today?

I think there's good news and bad news, and it depends a lot on [context]: race, age, sexuality, region. It's a hard question to answer. The more you subscribe to traditional ideas of masculinity, the harder it may be today to construct a healthy idea of masculinity or to navigate this current world.

My father's world was like Father knows best Everybody knew their place. The men smoked in elevators and drank hard liquor during the weekday. They ruled their home with an iron fist, beat their woman into submission and like much of our society today we emulate the very same attributes daily just look around at what happening. You cannot deny what you see.... I grew up thinking that my world would look like that, and it looks nothing like that. But many of our son have these expectations, and we know this, and we are fine with that. Young men don’t see enough of what it really means to be a nurturing, caring, great dad.

Males and Men

There are males and there are men. Men are easy to spot. They’re strong and tough and dangerous. They’re the guys you call when you need help. They’re dependable, self-reliant.

They’re creating something, a place in this world, in leadership role as a servant. Questionable.

We need more of them. Hopefully, this article will help you better understand what it means to be a man by better defining the characteristics that make up this ideal. We use word like:

  1. Toughness, persisting through the pain. Men do not succumb to pain. We do not allow it to stand in the way of the goal, or simply what must be done.

  2. Stoic, A man does not worry about the opinions of others. He concerns himself only with what he can control. He’s not a worrier, he’s a warrior. Whether he knows it or not he’s a Stoic.

  3. Self-reliance, People depend on him, as much as he can, he depends on himself. Self-reliance is learned over time. If you’re not quite there, keep learning new skills, it’s a journey that never ends.

  4. Dependability, He shows up. He does what he says he’s going to do.

  5. The Capacity for Danger

Manliness demands that you’re not only a good man morally, but that you’re good at being a man from a utility standpoint, and men are men so they can protect and defend. If you have no capacity for danger, you’re not doing this masculinity thing very well.

  1. Successful…accomplishment is as necessary for our souls as air for our ability to live another day.

  2. Loyal

  3. Impressive…you’re impressive to someone. Something you do, how you carry yourself, how you act, the work you get completed, is impressive to someone.

  4. Make a lot of money

  5. Rough around the edges

You cannot be a man and be completely refined and polished and well-mannered. You must be rough around the edges. You must be a little barbaric, a tad dangerous, a Viking at heart. Being a man means you’re not fully civilized. There will always be an aspect of you that has the capacity to do harm especially if it’s for good.

This would be a glimpse into some of the traits the world has defined as being man.

I aspire to say that is not what makes a man, although some of these traits are welcoming, they do not give a real picture into the real definition of being a man.

Let’s further investigate.

I have recently been reading the 7 Men by ERIC METAXAS and the secret of their greatness. It is an examination of seven different men, with specific emphasis upon their unique contribution to the world because of their faith in Christ. The seven men highlighted are George Washington, William Wilberforce, Eric Liddell, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Jackie Robinson, Pope John Paul II, and Charles Colson. In addition to chapters on each of these, there is an interesting introduction in which Metaxas argues that the idea of manhood is really in his sights. He writes that he wants the book to not talk about manhood, but instead be one that, “shows it in the actual lives of great men” In addition to chapters on each of these. These captivating stories of some of the most inspiring men in history. A gallery of greatness comes to life as Metaxas reveals men who faced insurmountable struggles and challenges with victorious resolve. The book has weakness and strengths. A great read however missed the true reflective marks that will scare the Being MAN

The Reflection Pool

Scripture shows that Jesus Christ is a true human being. It is clear from the verses below that he was indeed a man. Acts 2:22. “Men of Israel, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders, and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know. Acts 2:23. At some point or another, every man questions his personal virility. “Am I, a real man?” “Am I man enough?” Most of us have our own opinion about what it means to be a real man. Strong? Courageous? A great leader? Characteristics like these come to mind when we think of the ideal man. Personally, when I think of the epitome of someone who conquered manhood I think of Jesus, the quintessence of strength, courage, love, and leadership.

I have found that the best way to attain success in whatsoever is to find someone who is living the attributes you are trying to achieve and then emulate them. Knowing that Jesus is considered the epitome of manhood, in life we should all strive to be like HIM. The truth is to possess a fraction of the characteristics of Jesus would be to achieve our greatest triumph.

With that in mind, in our pursuit of excellence, here are ten traits from the mature man that we should all try to emulate and master:

1. The mature man seeks to be compassionate. When He saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were bewildered and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. (Matthews 9:36)

Jesus never avoided helping people. In fact, he always looked upon them and offered compassion. For some, it was physical healing while for others spiritual fostering was needed. In any case, Jesus always took the time to notice the hurting individual– and His compassion drove Him to help them.

To be a mature man we need to open our eyes at the opportunities to show compassion. In a self-involved world, all it takes is us slowing down and recognizing the underlining pain in others.

2. A mature man seeks to be a servant. The Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Mark 10:45)

Jesus was the ultimate servant. Despite having the authority to rein over everything, He displayed the exact opposite by lowering himself and serving others. Humility at its highest, after washing His disciples’ feet, He said, “An example I have given you, that you should do likewise.” (John 13:15)

A mature man understands that success comes as a derivative of serving others. Success and happiness are unintended side effects of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrendering to serve others.

3. A mature man is loving. Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

Jesus’ love was evident through his compassion and serving deeds. His greatest manifestation of love, however, was His self-sacrifice while on the cross bearing our sins as His so that we may live. Jesus instructed that the way we love in fact is an indicator that we are His disciples (John 13:35).

Jesus instructs us on how to be mature men, and therefore how to love our spouse (Ephesians 5:28-33), and how to love our neighbor (Mark 12:31). These three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13) A mature man is a loving man.

4. A mature man seeks to be forgiving. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:35)

Among all His miracles, I find this act of forgiveness to be the most amazing. Even during all His pain, in a situation where any other man would be thinking an eye for an eye. Jesus had the ability to forgive those causing Him pain in the very act of His anguish.

To be a mature man we must forgive, if we are unable to forgive then we do not love. If we do not love, then we are not His disciples.

5. A mature man has integrity. Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” (Matthew16:23)

Integrity to call it as it is — Jesus was bold and undivided, cohesive in his truthfulness.

Being boldly honest is difficult to do especially towards those closest to us. Yet in Jesus, we see straight truthfulness towards every person He dealt with: His disciples, the religious leaders, those who came in brief contact with Him.

A mature man’s integrity is above reproach; we need to have no fear in telling the truth. Be a man of integrity; let your yes be yes and your no be no. (Matthew 5:37)

6. A mature man expresses gentleness. “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them.” (Matthew 19:14)

There were times when Jesus used stern words, but He knew when gentleness was appropriate. Children seemed to love coming to him, and He made sure the Disciples knew not to hinder them when they did so. His tenderhearted and kindness was evident when speaking to His Disciples, mother, or other ladies. But, when He was giving someone a rebuke or making a point in a tutoring, He knew when turning up the heat was necessary and only did so strategically.

7. A mature man is committed. He went a little further and said, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39)

Jesus had no lack of commitment whatsoever. Wherever He was, or whomever He was with, He was fully in the moment and committed to His goals. Even to the point of physical torture, He knew it was the only way to pay for everyone’s sins (His goal), so He stayed committed even when his mission deemed unbearable.

A mature man has deep convictions to his commitments, like Jesus we must have laser focus on our goals so we can stay on track and finished strong.

8. A mature man is patient. Whoever is patient having great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly. (Proverbs 14:29)

Throughout the gospels, Jesus clearly gets portrayed as a very patient man. He was surrounded by Disciples who constantly doubted Him, Pharisees who continually attacked Him, and large crowds who wouldn’t leave Him alone. Despite it all, He kept His composure and responded appropriately to every individual.

A mature man is patient like a farmer who waits for the precious fruit of the earth, and has patience for it, until he receives the early and latter rain. (James 5:7)

9. A mature man has self-control. This High Priest of ours understands weaknesses, for he faced ALL the same testing we do, yet he did not sin. (Hebrews 4:15)

Jesus was human, he was tempted in every way just like you and me. He spent time being tempted by the Devil in the wilderness, who offered Him food, power, and many other things. Jesus controlled His desires and submitted them all to the will of the Father. Yes, He had desires for food and other things, but He had a greater desire to obey the Lord and accomplish what He set out to do.

A mature man is self-controlled and has the discipline to take every thought captive and make it obedient to stay on track and finish strong. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

10. A mature man strives for maturing in Christ. Therefore, you are to be mature, as your heavenly Father is mature. (Matthew 5:48)

A mature man strives to emulate Jesus. A man may never attain maturation, but with the continual chase he might obtain excellence.

Albert Einstein was quoted saying, “A maturing of means, and confusion of aims, seems to be our main problem.” A mature man understands that his aim is to emulate Jesus, understanding his characteristics and habitually following them is the shortest path to maturation.

The world doesn’t need more role models; it needs more of Jesus — the ultimate role model.