Love Between the Sheets Pt. I
Updated: Feb 14
In this month of February many of us celebrate love or loving. We wanted to shed some insight into how we see love in response to our walk with Christ. This will be a two-part post. sit back relax and have an open heart and mind.
Love Between the Sheets
Love existed before the world was formed. The scriptures teach that God is the uncreated creator the first cause of everything else. It also teaches that God is love, therefore love has been since the beginning.
Today, we only have one word for love and so we use the same word to casually describe how we feel about popcorn and how we feel about our mother how we feel about our things etc. If we read our meaning of love into the scriptures, we might misunderstand and think He is calling us to have warm fuzzy feelings about everyone when he is really calling us to the action of putting someone else’s needs ahead of our own.
The Greek language was much clearer on exactly what they were referring to and actually had 7 different words for love. Today we are going to look at the 3 most used.
The scripture contains unique forms of love. They are described in Greek -Eros (romantic love), Philia (brotherly love), and Agape (God's divine love or unconditional love).
We’ll also discuss what biblical love really is and what complying with Jesus Christ's command to "love one another" means. It is important to understand the difference between these kinds of love if we want to live the way God instructs us.
I don’t know about you but, understanding what love mean in my earlier years was a challenge because my mother left when I was young, and my father was too busy about building the business. Therefore, I was left on my on to figure it out. Do that sound like you?
3 types of love simply and clearly:
Eros- Cupid in Roman, the term is derived from the Greek mythological god of romance, love, and sexual desire. Eros is the love reserved for marriage in the Bible. Ancient Greek culture was rife with promiscuity. In the eastern Mediterranean, apostle Paul had to fight against it when establishing churches.
Philia- Describes the kind of love most Christians have for each other in the Bible. It describes the kind of bond seen in long-standing friendships. It is derived from the Greek term phílos meaning "beloved, dear... loved intimately; a friend dearly held in close bond of affection." Scripture uses this term to refer to the most general type of love, which includes love for fellow humans, care, respect, and compassion. In Christianity, brotherly love unites believers.
Agape- The highest form of love in the Bible. It refers to the incomparable, immeasurable love of God for humanity. It is God's unconditional, sacrificial, and perfect love. His Love is a very detailed description of the types of love that my wife conveys in our marriage. She explained that our needs for love begin the moment we are conceived, and our needs for love continues throughout our lives. According to the Bible, those who don't love, do not know God, since God is love.
The way Jesus loved us perfectly requires us to love each other equally. According to the Greek translation of Jesus' command to love one another as He has loved us (John 13:35). Despite our human weaknesses, agape love is nevertheless a worthy goal that we should strive toward in our lifelong words and actions. As human beings we have the ability to experience love as a powerful emotion. Christianity teaches that love is the test that proves a person's faith. God teaches us how to experience love in many forms and how to share it with others.
(John 13:34), “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you.
Have you ever noticed that the English word love can be used in a wide variety of ways that fail to distinguish between different shades of meaning? Obviously, the love we have for things we enjoy is different than the love we experience in relationships. Even within our relationships, the kinds of love we experience will vary significantly. We love our parents differently than we love our spouse, and we love our children differently than we love our pastor, fellow church members, or coworkers.
Within a marriage relationship, what kind of love should a husband have for his wife? Or a wife for her husband? What does such love look like? If we are to obey God’s command to love our spouse, we must be able to answer these questions. The New Testament was originally written almost entirely in Greek, a language that contains four different words for love: eros, phileo, storge and agape. Let’s define and examine a biblical picture of each. With a clearer understanding of three of those words for love—eros, storge, and phileo—we will be better prepared to understand the superior form of love: agape.
Why is it so important for us to understand agape? This word appears twice in Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love [agape] your wives, just as Christ also loved [agape] the church and gave Himself for her.” Agape is the love husbands are commanded to have for their wives, and it is the love Christ has for His bride, the church. It is also the love God has for each of us: “God so loved [agape] the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). We must understand agape so husbands will know how to love their wives, so wives will know how they should be loved by their husbands, and so we can all realize the greatness of God’s love for us.
First, Eros was described as a sexual type of love. It is a kind of attraction that says, “I want you”. The common use of this word today is Erotic which is not used in the Bible. Nevertheless, the concept is apparent throughout.
Song of Solomon 1:2–4
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: For thy love is better than wine.
SecondlySecondly, Phileo was viewed as a brotherly type of love. It is a kind of affection that says, “I like you”. Among the common uses of the word today are Philadelphia – City of Brotherly Love and Philanthropy – Love of Mankind.
Lastly, Agape was defined as a divine love which is expressed by the words “I commit to you.” This is the love of Christ. Love that is sacrificially committed. There is no reciprocation or cost to its love.
LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS
This is not meant to paint eros in a negative light. Relationships based on sexual desire aren't necessarily unclean or evil. Marriage is God's gift to married couples so that they can express their love for one another, strengthen their relationship, and ensure the survival of humanity. The Song of Solomon is a book entirely devoted to the blessings of erotic love.
A husband and wife's love should include erotic elements among other things.
In contrast, a long-term relationship based solely on eros will fail. In the absence of philia and agape, sexual thrills quickly wear off.
DEFINING THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE
Eros is the only Greek term for love that is not used directly in Scripture. The word refers specifically to physical attraction or romantic love. We will examine it fully when we discuss a biblical view of sex.
Storge refers to natural affection, or familial love, such as the love a parent feels toward a child, or the love siblings feel toward each other. The word storge is not used in Scripture in its simple form; it appears twice as astorgos, which is storge with an a in front of it, making it mean the opposite—without love or without natural affection. The apostle Paul uses this term when he states that people will not “retain God in their knowledge [therefore He] gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness…[including being] unloving [astorgos]” (Romans 1:28, 31). Paul uses the word again when he writes to Timothy: “In the last days perilous times will come for men will be…unloving” (2 Timothy 3:1, 3). In both instances, Paul wasn’t simply saying that people are unloving. Rather, he was saying people will lack the natural love or affection that family members should have for each other. A biblical example of astorgos (the absence of storge) is Cain murdering Abel.
Storge is also used once in Scripture in combination with a third form of love, phileo: “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love” (Romans 12:10). The words “kindly affectionate” are a translation of philostorgus, which is a Greek word that combines phileo and storge. Within the context of Romans 12, the term refers to the family affection brothers and sisters in Christ should have for each other.
Point To Ponder: In your families, is love the oil that eases friction… and the music that brings harmony.”
Phileo can be defined as strong affection. Most commonly, this applies to kindness between friends. When Jesus wept at Lazarus’s gravesite in John 11:36, the eyewitnesses said, “See how He loved [phileo] him!” Phileo forms part of the word’s philosophy, an affection for wisdom, and philanthropy, an affection for fellow man. The name for the church at Philadelphia, which is mentioned in Revelation 3:7-13, literally means “the church of brotherly love.” When people consider themselves close friends, phileo is the affection they have for each other.
Phileo does not always have a positive connotation. In Matthew 6:5, Jesus makes this accusation: “[The religious leaders] love [phileo] to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets.” Their strong affection was directed at receiving the adoration of men. When it comes to the marriage relationship, it is natural to think in terms of romantic love, or eros. But in doing so, we forget that marriage is the union of two best friends. In many ways, phileo is a great description of what marriage is meant to be: a deep and close friendship. Your spouse should be your best friend. That’s why it’s sad when people are closer to their friends than they are to their spouse. It is tragic when people say, “Oh, my spouse is leaving for a week. I can’t wait—what a wonderful break!” If a husband or wife feel this way toward their spouse, he or she should pray that God increases the phileo in their relationship.
Agape—A Superior Love
The fourth form of love—and the one most mentioned in the New Testament—is agape.
A conversation between Jesus and Peter reveals its superior nature. The background to this encounter was Peter’s earlier pledge to lay down his life for Jesus (John 13:36-38). Even when Jesus warned Peter that he would deny Jesus three times, Peter vowed his unswerving love. In fact, he boasted, “Even if all the other disciples deny You, I will not!”
But sure enough, when Jesus was arrested, Peter ran to save his own skin and denied—three times—ever knowing Jesus. During Peter’s third denial, Scripture tells us Peter made eye contact with Jesus (Luke 22:59-62). We are not told what Peter saw during that brief look from Jesus, but Peter became convicted to the point of stumbling away and weeping bitterly. I doubt there was a lower point in Peter’s life.
In John 21, Peter has learned of Jesus’s resurrection and at least twice had been with the other disciples when Jesus appeared to them (John 20:19-31). But the shame and anguish of his betrayal must have remained a heavy burden. We see confirmation of this in John 21. While the disciples were out fishing, Jesus called to them from the shore. Notice Peter’s response: He immediately dove into the water and swam to shore. Then while the disciples are eating with Jesus, we see reconciliation and forgiveness take place.